I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
