you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
