im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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