You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
