so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
