I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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