the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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