She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
