Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
