When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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