Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
