Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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