dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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