I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sponge bath it is.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
