Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
