It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
