what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
