Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
