Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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