just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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