dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
