We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
