so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
