that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
