You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
