I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
