Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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