Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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