I puked a lego.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
