I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
