i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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