I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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