Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
