chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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