I love black thongs
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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