let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
