If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
