the condom got lost in my hair
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
