Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
