I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
