i would punch a child for taco bell
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
