3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
