p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
