please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
