i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
either way he was missing a nipple.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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