There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
