Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
