He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
