You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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