Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
