I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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